I'm Proud: Writing his Name

Trying to get Henry focused on writing, or really anything fine-motor related, has been a struggle. He was always about movement, full of energy. Too much energy to sit still and take time to learn such a thing as writing. 

Yes, it worried me. He didn't seem to be 'up to par' in this area. But I let it go. He's 3 and I know writing isn't something they should be able to do, it was just the fine motor area in general that worried me. 

So, when Henry started preschool this fall, the teachers had poked me about his hand grip and handedness. Once again. Worry struck. One day it was that he held his pencil too loosely, and the next it was too tight of a grip. But I let it go, thinking there wasn't much I could do about it anyway. Just modeled it correctly when I got the opportunity.

Finally, in just the last couple of months, Henry's been more and more interested in doing 'the little things'. Don't get me wrong, he's still completely full of energy and moves a lot. But he now takes time to work with his hands too. 

We still haven't really worked on writing at home [although they do at school], but a couple weeks ago, we moved our chalkboard into our office area [it previously had been hung out in the garage, inaccessible]. 

Henry completely surprised me when he picked up the chalk.

He wrote his name.

Completely on his own.

Left to right.

Correct order.

I'm proud.

He did start directly in the middle of the chalkboard, with the biggest H he could make. There's a conversation on the hands on : as we grow Facebook page regarding this for suggestions on how to help when they're frustration from the child when they run out of room.

Like it? Share it!

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16 Valentine's Celebrations from The Heart Project Party!

Earlier this week, Cathy of NurtureStore and I hosted a very hoppin' Valentine's Day party for The Heart Project!


A bunch of moms joined the party and swapped ideas for Valentine's Day, including family celebrations and traditions, as well as recipes and crafts.

Cathy shared yesterday a few of the Valentine's crafts and recipes that party-goers chimed in with. 

Today, I'm sharing!

Valentine's Day traditions and celebrations!

[Toddler Approved, from The Heart Book]

1. We love heart-shaped pancakes and heart-shaped fruit salads =)
   [Mama Smiles]
   
2. My mom used to make us valentines and they'd be sitting on the table when we woke up [Create with Kids]
   

Read more »

Parenting: Be your Child's Advocate for a Better Education

Guest Post by    A post written and shared by Melissa at Imagination Soup. Melissa shares a few tips and strategies of what worked for her on how to handle being her child's advocate for a better education. See what Melissa recommends to do.

It started with preschool, but I made excuses.
Then, it happened in public elementary school.
Several times and I ran out of excuses.

Terrible teachers.

It’s a loaded sentence and I know it.

I am a teacher myself.
How dare I say anything bad about my own profession?

But, let’s get real.

Not all doctors are good. Not all police. Not all dry cleaners.

And not all teachers are good, either.
Plus, it’s my kids’ education on the line. It’s real life.
Read more »

Parenting : On Motherhood

Were you a natural when it came to motherhood? I wasn't.  Read on to hear the story of Angelique of AngeliqueFelix.com, on becoming a mother. A wonderful post is written and shared by  Angelique at AngeliqueFelix.com - The Magic of Play

"I am not afraid, I was born to do this" 

- Joan of Arc, heroin of France

The beginning

Before you start reading this post, you should know that I ADORE my child. She is the treasure of my life. Nothing or nobody can ever take her place in my life!

[First unforgettable real kiss!] I could stop here. But I don't.  I have to share an important message.

For ME it's not true that motherhood comes naturally, that we women are born to be moms.* Even though I am a professional, working with parents and children mostly every day, this didn't prepare me for my own motherhood. I have the courage to say, now after some years, that becoming a mother made me lose my way.... AND I am very grateful for having lost that way! [continue reading to find out why...]

I also found out that I am NOT alone, I read this sentence in an interview with rock star Alanis Morisette:

"I remain baffled at how little I was prepared for what was to come. These things required months of growth and calibrating! And here I naively thought that I would arrive as a MOM at the same time as my lil’ boy arrived as a SON. "

[This island called 'Pregnant woman']

Parents you become, I absolutely believe in that now.
As a newborn parent I travelled through many experiences, before I could say: AHA, this belongs to me, and this is not me!


The start of a journey
This is my "list" I was going through:

• The books about parenthood, especially with chapters like 'put your child on it's belly, when it's still loving so much staying on it's back'. I gave them all to the local library - for free!


• The good advices from others, read family, doctors, teachers. I respectfully learnt to say : ah, oh, really? yes, thank you so much! and then do it in my way. I know my child the best and (now) trust in my competences.


• The change of my body, absolutely talking about having "hanging" kind of bodyparts. Wow, this was, and still pops up, a tricky one. But I will not step into the trap of becoming a stranger in my own body. My partner says: "You are beautiful" and I answer: "Yes, I am!".


• Multitasking all the time, juggling between the household, the preps for my workshops, the writing, the being mom and woman. Praying sometimes that all social media will just collaps and we go back to handwrited cards or letters. I am letting go of the fact that numbers are important: google analytics or how many people are "talking about me" on Facebook. I choose now to blog and social media when my daughter is not around. Her presence makes me slow down and roll over the floor while playing with each other.
  
  
• Not being involved anymore in a "JOB":  A thing you do, a responsibility. So many things are worth doing, those that bring joy to you. Some only bring money, some friends, some surprising experiences. But it somehow has to be done. My job now is being full of joy, spending my time playing and creating. Or better said, spending my time in BEING who I am.
  
  
• Being in complete control of the baby-situation. My thoughts and actions would look like this: "I should let her eat more, I must make her fall asleep now [in dark rooms, with doors closed], I must do courses with her, She must always be in my life, her education belongs to me." I wanted to push my child, but she rebelled, with her whole being, little as she was and is. I had no chance as to accept reality: My child is an independent being. I cannot [and I don't want] to control the situation. I just create a safe space for her where she can express herself who she really is. what does not mean, that there are no borders.

My wish for you my child is to be free ♥

The end....
I thought having a baby was all about the child. I found out that a new me was born at exactly the same time. My journey of growing up proceeds with every day lived in a fully and conscious way. I start to understand who I am and why I do what I do. What a beautiful celebration!


Thank you for your time,
Mother - and therefore automatically heroine, Angelique Felix for my inspiring playmate Jamie at hands on : as we grow.


* I write about motherhood but please don't feel excluded if you are a father reading this. Feel free to let me know how you, as a man, experienced the entry of a baby in your relationship.

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About Angelique Felix
Angelique Felix creates safe spaces where parents can play with their children (0-6 years old); where children learn in a FUN way; where adults encounter their inner child.
Angelique is a Certified Infant Massage Instructor (International Association of Infant Massage). More information can be found at http://www.AngeliqueFelix.com - The Magic Of Play.

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Parenting: Learning to Let Go

Guest Post by    Ever feel like this project just isn't turning out? Let go. Remember the process. A post is written and shared by Ali at At Home with Ali.

  
Learning to Let Go

Doing art and craft with young children can drive anyone crazy. Paint going everywhere except on the paper, glue on fingers and in hair, mountains of glitter spread out for no purpose, oil pastels having their wrappers ripped off and smushed into the couch... frankly it was all too hard for me.

However, one day I turned around and realized I had limited my 2 year old daughter's art and craft activities to a set of waxy crayons, a glue stick and some paper – no paint, no pva glue and no glitter.

I love art and craft so how did we get here?

Luckily, I was fortunate to have a mother-in-law trained in the field of early childhood education and we had many conversations about the importance of process over product and child-centered play... which really got me thinking.

You see, I am a graphic designer and all my working life has been focused on the product, sure there is process but I am not happy if the end product does not look great. This sort of thinking had transferred to my art and craft activities with my daughter, Cakey. Time for a different approach – I stopped trying to create beautiful things with Cakey and let her lead the way.




First up, I changed my meaning of a 'successful' activity – I started to measure success only in terms of time spent [the longer the better] and fun had. I stopped whipping away collages when I thought they were finished [i.e. looking lovely with heaps of bits and pieces glued on]. I left them out for Cakey to destroy. She seemed to get more pleasure from ripping the pieces off than she did from sticking them on.

I also re-introduced paint but I took away the easel. Instead, I set the paint up on a big table and supplied a variety of different materials to paint on – bark from a paperbark tree, little canvasses, coloured paper of various sizes, stones from the garden. This stopped her from painting on the table or pavers. And I gave myself a break – on days when I couldn't cope with cleaning up the mess from painting I pulled out our little tray of watercolours instead.

As Cakey got older [she is now 3.5], I introduced good quality [i.e. sharp enough to actually cut paper] child-friendly scissors. I let her experiment with these by cutting up strips of thick paper. I also used to sit her at the table with a magazine and let her go to town on it.

But by far the best thing I have done [in terms of independent arts and crafts go] was to teach her how to use the sticky tape dispenser. I bought a decent tape dispenser and the most expensive sticky tape because it breaks off easily for little fingers. It was well worth the investment. Cakey will happily sticky tape together amazing creations for hours with no help and is always so proud of her results. I do have to buy sticky tape in bulk now though.



Handing control over to Cakey has been hard. I realized that I have many pre-conceived ideas about what are the right and wrong ways to do something, but Cakey doesn't see the world in the same way. She doesn't want me to tell her how to do something, she wants to discover it herself. As I have slowly loosened up, art and craft activities have become loads of fun for both of us and I am learning the difference between supporting her rather than directing.

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I am a graphic designer and a stay at home mother to my two beautiful daughters - Cakey [3] and Boo [1]. Cakey wants to make things all the time - sometimes it is fabulously fun and sometimes it makes me want to pull my hair out. I love the challenge of trying to channel Cakey's interests and ideas into activities we can do together. I also love watching Boo's personality come out and am intrigued by what her interests will turn out to be.

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10 Simple Ways to Slow Down & Make Your Child's Day

Today's post is written and shared by Joyce at Dinosaurs & Octopuses.  10 wonderful ways to slow down and savor the moments with your kids this holiday season! We all need to take time to do these!

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Life can be hectic and busy. 

Parenting can sometimes seem to compound that problem. 

And then there's the holidays.

It's very easy to get caught up in your to-do list. Or at least, it is for me. We are always having to run here or there, finish this, clean that. Sometimes I find myself saying "no" when I should be saying "yes!" 

Today, I wanted to share a few ideas on making time to slow down and have fun.

I try to allow time to have fun, but sometimes we really don't have the time to jump over every crack. 

When we've had an especially hurried few days I like to plan one day to be a preschoolers paradise. We still do what needs to be done, but I take extra care in the planning and make it my mission to say yes. I try to view the entire day through the eyes of my preschooler. 

Five things we do while running errands:

1. We jump over the cracks! Both of us, it's more fun that way.
2. He pushes all the buttons! Elevators, debit card machines, coke machines.
3. We stop at the grocery store with the carousel even if we don't have shopping to do. It's sacrificing five minutes time for some smiles and giggles. Well worth it.
4. We take the time to stop and watch that trail of ants, find the perfect rock, or read every sign we see. This is something we try to do everyday, but it can often get pushed to the side when we are in a hurry.
5. We have coin races in the Children's Miracle Network donation bins. I bring a bag of change for this purpose. We watch the coins spin round and round. We declare victors.

Five ideas for the time spent at home:

1. Let them help make dinner. Let them pick dinner! Yes, it might be more work for you, but they'll be thrilled to help. And you might get the added bonus of them eating better than usual.
2. Play that board game before you make the phone call. Most games don't take that long to play and making your child a priority will make them feel extra special.
3. Read them one more book. Or three!
4. Is it going to make a mess? Help them make a mess! Let them help you clean it up. That can be almost as much fun as making the mess. No, really.
5. Plan an extra special bath. Instead of getting them out, add more warm water once the original water turns cold. My son looks forward to bath time, but by that time, I'm often looking forward to bed time. This is always a favorite!

All of these things combined makes for a very happy child. I usually get a lot of sweet comments at the end of one of these days. The truth is, I'm happier too. But you don't have to do all of these things in one day like we do. Have you been feeling rushed? Set out to try a few things from this list, or come up with a few of your own. You'll all be glad you did. 

What can you do to slow down 

and make your child extra happy?

...............................................

I'm Joyce, a stay at home mom of one four year old boy. I write about our adventures in play and my adventures in parenting over at Dinosaurs And Octopuses. I enjoy finding new ways to play and learn, and I love to pass along our favorites. I share a hodgepodge of activities, crafts, and recipes.

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Parenting: "The Conscious Parent" Book

After posting the article about Acting Out, a fan on the hands on : as we grow Facebook page suggested this book to me.

The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, PhD

I looked into it right away, because, yes, Henry acts out and I was getting frustrated. Dr. Tsabary quickly sent me over this book to read and review to my readers.

I'm a slow reader, so I plucked away at this book a chapter at a time in my slim moments of free time. I decided to highlight along the way any important quotes I might come across so later I can come back and skim those for quick inspiration.

Um, I think almost 90% of the pages have been highlighted on or dog-eared. 

Whew.

A major quote that I highlighted and that probably triggered the 30 Days to Hands on Play Challenge:

"... only for us to be attuned to them with our engaged presence." [p. 10]

This is one parenting book full of information.

And guess what?

Its not necessarily about 'parenting'.

Its about you.

The parent.

These couple of sentences, I believe, set the tone for the entire book. I came back to this over and over throughout the book, as Dr. Tsabary often talks about our 'ego':

"Ego" as I'm using the term is an artificial sense of ourselves. It's an idea we have about ourselves based mostly on other people's opinions. It's the person we have come to believe we are and think of ourselves as. [p. 7]

A conscious parent approach is definitely different that learning how to 'handle' behaviors. This is what sets this book apart from others I've read. Its an approach to parenting in general, not a specific behavior. And its about you, not the child.

"... conscious parenting is learned through the actual experience of relating to our children, not through reading books that offer quick fixes or taking classes that specialize in techniques." [p. 19]

The majority of The Conscious Parent speaks of our ego. What triggers our reactions to our children?

A question the book asks, or more a statement it encourages you to finish [examples on page 33]:

I accept my child is ______.

And really accept it.
I asked this question to other fellow moms on The Play Network and got a variety of answers!

The only thing I found that really bothered me throughout the book is that Dr. Tsabary often relates our 'triggers' to the way we were raised by our own parents. I don't have any problems or issues with the way I was raised and I often found myself mad at the book when I was reading through these parts.

Dr. Tsabary does touch on discipline throughout the book, here and there, but mostly at the end. The one thing that has really stuck in my mind is about what we can expect of our children, and this can be used for all ages:

"What do you have a right to expect from your children? I identify three elements: respect for themselves, for others, and for their safety." [p. 172]

Dr. Tsabary says she often has to remind herself of the following for displinary action:

"I will response to my child in the her-and-now. If her behaviour asks for validation, I will be present enough to give this. If  her behaviour asks for shaping and containment, I will be engaged and alert, ready to provide this the moment she needs it. If her behaviour asks for non-reaction from me, then this will be my response."[p. 220]

I found The Conscious Parent to be a very enlightening book that made me reflect on my own being, how I act and why I do the way I do. What triggers me is often a question I ask myself now and try to reflect on the situation. Being present with my children is something I'm striving to do daily and being a truly conscious parent.

Have you read The Conscious Parent?

What are your thoughts? 

Any particular quotes that you love from it?

* I received The Conscious Parent k for free from Namaste Publishing in exchange for a review with my honest opinions of the the book.

Henry is 3 years. George is 1 year.

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Parenting is Child's Play : Independence

Allowing your child to independent.

That sounds obvious, and maybe even easy.
But it is something I believe every parent may struggle with at some point in those early independent, yet dependent, years.

How to keep some control of the chaos, yet allow your child to have a say, takes some balance. Jillian, author of the inspiring learning blog A Mom with a Lesson Plan, helps us achieve that balance. Or, at least, lets us know how she's learned to balance it out.

I have always believed that kids should have a space that allows them to practice independence.

Three tips to remember that Jill shared with me are:

1. Change the Rules. 
2. The tools must be available.
3. Everything has a place.

Read more »

Parenting is Child's Play : Responsibility

Henry is a big help around the house.

He really is.

When he's in the mood.

I'd like to implement a chore system in our house, but before doing so, I asked Sarah, founder of füdoo Boards, how to do it. As well as inquiring about why its important for kids to have some responsibilities.

How can I raise a responsible child?

It looks like I'm right on track with starting this with Henry at this age. Sarah says, "It is time to begin talking about helping the family unit when your child is about three years old. Your child can perform simple jobs and feel great satisfaction for helping the family."

Sarah named off just a few benefits of allowing children to take on chores and responsibilities :

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30 Days to Hands on Play : Family Time

DAY 6 CHALLENGE:

 FAMILY TOGETHER TIME

Puzzles, Game Night, Coloring.

Perfect for a Sunday afternoon or evening!

Some together time as a family before the work week hits us again.

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Parenting is Child's Play : Routine

Routine. Routine. Routine.

We all hear about it from day one of being a parent.
You need to get them on a routine!

So what's the big deal?

Why do our kids need a routine?

I posed this question to Erin O'Keefe, MA, PCI Certified Parent Coach of The Intentional Parent. 

When a child knows what to expect, their world is more comfortable, it makes sense.  

Erin explains what routines do for the child:

• A routine lets a child know what to expect.
• A routine provides them with a sense that life is predictable.  
• A routine is calming, providing a child with a sense of security.  

Read more »

Preschool Activity : 10 Minute Challenge

Guest Post by

Picklebums! I love the name of this blog. Kate is the amazing mom and author behind this cute blog.

Full of beautiful children [four!] and beautiful photography [not to mention chalk full of activities with some parenting tips along the way], Picklebums is a must see, check out now blog, if you haven't done so already. 

Kate's here today to create a challenge for you. Are you up for it? Or, more correctly, I should ask, are your kids up for it? This is a challenge directed to your kids to help in 'those moments' and I bet you'll find yourself having fun doing the challenge with your kids too!

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She is yelling at him, he is crying, the other one is doing cartwheels in the lounge room and the baby is desperate to go to bed. You just need something, anything, to change the tone, to break the cycle, to buy yourself a little snippet of peace, before you lose it completely!

That's when I go slightly loopy and skip around singing, "Challenge time! It's challenge time!"
Read more »

Parenting is Child's Play : Life Skills

As a parent, I often wonder if Henry's on the right track. If he's doing everything he should be doing. Or if he's lacking in an area. When he was younger, I'd track all the developmental charts to make sure he's on track. But somewhere along the way... I've gotten to not looking at those charts anymore.

Recently, with Henry starting preschool this year, I've starting thinking about life skills and wondering if Henry can do what he should be doing at this time.

But what should he be doing?

I asked Deborah J. Stewart, M.Ed, early childhood educator and author of the blog Teach Preschool, what she hopes to see three year olds are doing when they enter into preschool.

Read more »

Seven Mom Tips : Activia Selects

As a stay at home mom, and an admittedly, addicted blogger. I try to do things as quickly as possible. [This is just my nature, I've always been this way.]

I've learned to involve the kids in what I'm doing. They love to help. Include them. This sometimes counteracts the getting it done quickly, but it keeps them busy while I can get it done.

When I can't involve them, there are a few tricks I've learned to get everything done, and still stay [somewhat] healthy and [somewhat] sane, in my three looooooong short years of motherhood:

1. Doing laundry one day a week. This is a new concept for me, but it's very freeing [Thank you Happy Hooligans for posting your tip on The Play Network]. Choose a day to do laundry and just get it done. Don't drag out the folding and putting away, get it done and have a mess-free laundry room as well as clean clothes instead of, where is that shirt? is it clean? is it in the hamper? This way you know you washed it and where it is. If its not clean, its put away, if its not there, its dirty.
   

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Unwanted Behaviors : Repeat Questions

Why?
Why?
Why?

... Why?

Experience that in your house?
Repeat.

Ha. Okay. I won't be the one with the repetitive questions.
Its probably your kids.

There's the 'why' stage that we're currently in. 
[Which I think I'm pretty good at answering... for now.]
But, I'm sure the nagging repetitive questions will be coming soon in full force.

Read more »

Unwanted Behaviors : Acting Out

Henry acting out?
No....
That never happens.

Ha. I wish that was a true story.
Henry whizzed through the terrible twos with just a lot of energy, not really being terrible.
The threes have been another story.

It has been very common to see a full-blown tantrum over the tiniest thing.

Read more »

Raising Kids is Tough : Gender Awareness

More of those Unwanted Behaviors have been answered! This time its a pretty touchy topic but one definitely to be aware of. Is your child becoming a little too aware of his/her private parts, or worse, others?

These hands on experts have given their professional and personal answers to help deal with or accept those unwanted behaviors that you submitted.

The Hands On Experts:

• Mom Expert: Jill of A Mom with a Lesson Plan
• Parenting Expert: Erin of The Intentional Parent
• Teaching Expert: Deborah of Teach Preschool
• Lifestyle Expert: Sarah of Füdoo Boards

Your Unwanted Behaviors:

Read more »

Raising Kids is Tough : Adult Differences

Every Monday through September, we'll be going through some Unwanted Behaviors. I'm very excited for this part in the series, because I often wonder what is expected of my child at his age, or how to cope with certain outbursts. And boy, the experts have some great answers to share!


These hands on experts have given their professional and personal answers to help deal with or accept those unwanted behaviors that you submitted.

The Hands On Experts:

• Mom Expert: Jill of A Mom with a Lesson Plan
• Parenting Expert: Erin of The Intentional Parent
• Teaching Expert: Deborah of Teach Preschool
• Lifestyle Expert: Sarah of Füdoo Boards

Your Unwanted Behaviors:

Read more »

Simple DIY Calendar for Preschooler

My preschooler doesn't really like preschool.

What do I do?

I decided to create some structure to our day.

I created a simple calendar of the week, so Henry can see what days he has preschool.

As well as seeing what he can do when he gets home from preschool!

[That's my hope, to get him excited about both preschool and an after-school activity.]

 

In addition, it helps him learn the days of the week.

Read more »

Raising Kids is Tough : Eating Battles

For the Raising Kids is Tough series, August has been all about your Eating Battles. This is the final edition of Eating Battles.

This week are all the questions that came in throughout the month and I've posted on Facebook to have fans, as well as the experts, give you their answers!

The Hands On Experts:

• Mom Expert: Jill of A Mom with a Lesson Plan
• Parenting Expert: Erin of The Intentional Parent
• Teaching Expert: Deborah of Teach Preschool
• Lifestyle Expert: Sarah of Füdoo Boards

These hands on experts have given their professional and personal answers to help lessen your eating battles that you submitted.

Your Eating Battles:

• Dinner Table Battles
• Going Out to Eat
• Picky Eaters
• Healthy Snacks 
• More Eating Battles [The Experts' advice below] : 
• Eating Independence
• Slow Eating
• Constant Hunger
• Eating Manners

[Do you have a question that wasn't listed? Submit your Raising Kids is Tough questions!]

Read more »